I couldn’t stop shedding tears writing this post, so bear with me. Last week until now: it is terrible. There’s no other way to put it. It is today that we decided to have sunflower seeds planted over the grave of faded kittens.

Awhile back, we rescued a litter of orphaned newly born kittens. There were five of them, only a few days old. Without hesitation, April took them home. We immediately bought heating pad, incandescent bulb as alternative heat source, kitten formula and new blankets for these poor kittens. April and I took turns in feeding around the clock with a syringe and miracle nipple. We stayed with them until the end. It was very tiring to become a mother, but worth it to see that they stayed a day longer.

Kittens should never be separated from their moms. Just like us humans, mother’s milk is very important to give these kittens immunity. After a few days of being with us, the liveliest kitty (the Calico) among them already opened her eyes. We were so happy. Eventually, the other two followed. We took efforts in searching for videos and other educational content online about how to care for these orphaned kittens. My favorite site is that from Kitten Lady. It was never easy. It may be hard but we never thought negatively. We never thought that this day would come to have sunflower seeds planted over the grave of faded kittens.

Loud Cries Woke Us Up in the Middle of the Night

Yes. They were noisy, but as research suggests, being noisy is a good indication because they were responding. However, things changed when one of them died…

They were fading

Seventh of this month, the first one died. After that day, a kitten died each day. The liveliest of them all remained so noisy and active until the fourth one died. Do kittens feel depression? We never know. All we noticed the morning after the fourth death, she never meowed so loud again. She was fading, just like everyone else. Yesterday, all of them were gone just like everyone said: it’s nearly impossible that they’d survive.

The moment with the last kitty

I can still remember the moment before the last one died. I know she wouldn’t make it that day. Any hour, she’d be gone. So, what I did. I wrapped her in a towel for warmth, placed her on top of my chest and caressed her head. I can still hear her labored breathing. At least, during her last moment, she felt she had a mother this world had deprived her of having.

I slept for about an hour. I was still holding her. She’s still alive. I told myself, this kitty’s a fighter! So, I put her back to her basket. A few minutes, she passed away.

Sunflower Seeds Planted Over the Grave Of Faded Kittens

I found a post online about how he honored his pet by having sunflower seeds planted over the grave of faded kittens. So, we thought of doing the same. This litter of orphaned kittens was our first. Doing this became a healing moment for us. It gave us a sense of closure after all the love given out and sleepless nights.

I know that death is healthy and beautiful. The only frustration we have is this world is not giving enough love to each other. I wish we could do it more. After this, we promised ourselves never to hesitate to give out help to those voiceless. Even if we won’t make it in the end, at least, they feel that they are loved and cared for.

Thank you for sharing your stories with us, little angels.

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Cha Esper

Cha of Little Misadvencha is a Filipino Civil Engineer, researcher and a fur mom. She came from General Santos City and finds that everything in life teaches her a lesson. She is inspired to write about and out of her experiences, but later found out that it was her experiences that actually inspire her.