It’s 6:36 PM, and I just got out of bed. This day turned out to be the complete opposite of what I originally planned it to be. It’s one of those days that I don’t feel like doing anything but to curl myself on bed, hug my pillow, and caress my cats until we both fall asleep again and again. It’s one of those days of getting up with murdered motivation.
Frustrations > Motivation
A lot of things are going on in here. Just today, my country just hit the 20,626 mark of COVID-19 positive cases, and approximately 5% of this number already died. Not only that, I am living in one of the cities with the highest number of coronavirus cases. Last week, everyone, especially the commuters, found it very difficult to cope up with the transition to GCQ from ECQ here in Cebu City. What’s frustrating is why the rush with the transition when there’s still no available public transportation.
Due to this, April, my friend, was required to report to office by their company head starting last Monday. Failure to report means “no pay”. What she did everyday was to walk 6-km approximately for an hour and a half, back and forth. This will continue until the 20th or when the public transport will resume. Isn’t it frustrating?
Before the end of May, I already attended to all my bills – credit card, utilities, insurances, etc. Yes – this is what everyone is afraid to face – the surprise of all the bills showing up after all the extensions due to quarantine. I wanted to create a clean slate this month of June so I faced what needed to be faced. What stressed me out last week was I made a three-month worth of payment to cover the last months of unpaid insurance premiums. My financial advisor was no longer connected to my insurance company.
So, I really had a hard time addressing my questions and follow-ups. That needed to call their main office, wait for me to be attended due to queue of clients, and paying extra for making long distance calls. Indeed, it was a hassle. However, this had to get done – I told myself. What happened to the whole payment was only the first month was paid, and the rest became a top-up payment. Top-up means investment made to the ULIP over the premium payment. That meant I still need to pay for the last two months. So I made some e-mails and did some follow ups to re-adjust the payment. Thankfully today, after six days, I received an e-mail that everything was put into place.
Getting up with murdered motivation
Well, that’s just one of the things going on with me the past weeks or months. All of a sudden, the day has come that we all have to face and finish what needs to get done, like a huge rock falling from the sky straight to you leaving you alive. The only thing you can do is to move that rock away, recover from the bruises so you can keep moving forward. However, the hardest part is getting the strength of moving the rock so you can be free.
Dealing with unfinished businesses
We all have unfinished businesses and sometimes, we really lose the motivation to get them done. I remember the time when I had all the enthusiasm to finish some things – big or small from the past. Where did it go? Why did it leave? Should I wait for it to come back and fuel me? How will it come back? Or should I force myself to squeeze the remaining enthusiasm left in my system? I really don’t know – too tired to think.
Well, today is just one of those days that I fail myself. My bed loves me, and today, I chose to reciprocate.
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Cha of Little Misadvencha is a Filipino Civil Engineer, researcher and a fur mom. She came from General Santos City and finds that everything in life teaches her a lesson. She is inspired to write about and out of her experiences, but later found out that it was her experiences that actually inspire her.